Age 2

Language skills: Your 2-year-old should be linking two or more words together and speak clearly enough for parents (or others who have daily contact with the child) to understand approximately half the words the child speaks. He or she should know some adjectives, such as "big" and "happy" and have a spoken vocabulary of approximately 50 words.

Social skills: At this age, your child is becoming aware of his or her identity as an individual, separate from others. He or she will become more interested in playing with others and separation anxiety will begin to fade. He or she may start becoming defiant and asserting individuality.

Cognitive skills: Make-believe enters into the picture at this age, bringing a fun element into playtime. Your child should be able to sort objects by shape and color and understand some spatial concepts, such is "in" and "on." Peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek may become favorite games, and your child should be able to find hidden objects. A child starts with some interest in coloring at this age and should be scribbling, so be careful with markers and crayons!

Physical skills: Children should begin walking (toddling) on their own at about 12 to 14 months of age; at approximately age 2, they can walk on tiptoes, climb on furniture and begin to run. They can also build a tower or 4 or more blocks and will empty objects out of a container (or cabinet).

Children become very active and busy around the age of 2 and their awareness of themselves as an individual generally gives rise to a greater sense of independence which, along with their mobility and curiousity, has generated the "terrible twos" label. At this point, your home should be thoroughly childproofed because a 2-year-old can and will get into everything within reach.

Age 3

This is an exciting time for a toddler. It's a time of huge intellectual, social and emotional growth. It's a fun time for parents, as well, as your child becomes more responsive to social cues and physically able to interact in play with both adults and children.

Language skills: Your child should, at the age of 3, be able to identify most common objects, such as dog, cat, house, car, etc. He or she should also be able to say his or her first name and age. Use of pronouns (I, you, we, they) and some plurals begins at this age and he or she will be able to answer simple questions.

Social skills: By the age of 3, a child should be able to take turns with playmates and siblings, as well as imitate parents and playmates. (This is the age when you will often see your own behaviors mimicked in public, much to your chagrin!) He or she will separate easily from you to go to play or to preschool and will openly express affection.

Cognitive skills: Children at this age love make-believe and dress-up and they should be playing with toys and one another, making up an imaginary environment and situations. They will be more confident about sorting objects by shape and color and understand more spatial concepts (over, under, around). If you show them a circle, they should be able to copy it.

Physical skills: At around the age of 3, a child should be able to walk up and down stairs, using alternate feet on each step (as opposed to scooting), although for safety handholding or a handrail would be encouraged. He or she should be able to kick a ball, climb an object (jungle gym, ladder), run and pedal a tricycle. Fine motor manipulation begins to improve and he or she should be able to turn the pages of a book, one page at a time. He or she should be able to stack a tower or 6 or more objects or blocks.

This is the age where, if your work requires it, you may wish to consider preschool for your child, rather than daycare of some kind. Preschool provides a higher level of directed activity and learning than daycare and begins teaching essentials while encouraging social skills.

Age 4

At this age, a child is only (usually) one year away from entering kindergarten. He or she is more independent - and assertive of independence - and focusing more on adults and children outside the family. Interactions with family and others help shape personality and individual ways of thinking and moving.

Language skills: Your child should be speaking clearly enough for strangers to understand, describe the use of common objects, tell simple stories and use verbs that end in "ing," as well as some irregular past tense verbs, such as "ran" and "fell."

Social skills: At this point, your child should be trying to solve problems or puzzles, be cooperating with playmates and become interested in new experiences. As noted above, independence is asserting itself more and more.

Cognitive skills: Four-year-olds become involved in more complex imaginary play at this time, concocting elaborate fantasies, story lines and characters. They understand more complex spatial concepts (behind, next to) and understand the concept of same and different. They should be able to draw a person with 2 to 4 body parts and print some capital letters and name some colors.

Physical skills: At this age, a child should be able to dress and undress on his or her own. They can use scissors (safety scissors, please!). At play, they should be able to throw a ball overhand, kick it forward, catch bounced balls most the time, and balance on one foot for a few seconds.

The preschool years are a fantastic time of growth and development, exploration of self and surroundings, and learning about life, family and society. Take time to enjoy these years with your child and participate in their learning process.

There are a lot of reasons why a toddler may throw a temper tantrum. In many cases, it's because they're hungry and/or tired and things that don't normally upset them will send them into a tailspin. The temper tantrum is just an expression of frustration with a physical (hunger, fatigue), mental (difficulty learning or performing a task) or emotional situation.

And, quite frankly, tantrums are sometimes nothing more than a repetition of a technique that has worked favorably in the past to get the child what he or she wanted. They may be small and unable to communicate well, but children are not stupid. If a temper tantrum resulted in "no" becoming "yes," that information will be remembered and the next time you say "no," past experience will be drawn upon in an attempt to change your mind. The more times you give in, the more it reinforces the child's experience that a temper tantrum = success!

A word for parents: you may be tired and hungry, too! Sometimes you think it's easier to just give in. However, you need to remember that children want consistency from you. Being consistent in your parenting is probably one of the most important lessons you'll learn and probably the hardest thing to do. If you told your toddler that you are not buying toys when you go grocery shopping, then don't.

How to avoid temper tantrums in the first place

Be consistent. We cannot emphasize this enough. It is the foundation of parenting.

Plan ahead. If you have to take a child with you to run errands, try to do them at a time of day when the child usually has the best attitude and mood and isn't likely to be tired, hungry and therefore grumpy and demanding.

Encourage your child to use words. Temper tantrums are a communication in response to an inability to convey frustration. Get your child to talk to you in a normal tone of voice. Make it clear that you will not listen to whining and crying.

Let your child make choices. It's important to involve the child in some of the decision making when appropriate. It gives them a sense of control. Compliment the child on his or her choices and for using words.

Praise good behavior. Children need positive reinforcement - you cannot just ignore the good behavior and punish the bad. They will equate bad behavior with attention and if that's the only attention they get from you, they will use it.

Use distraction. If you sense a tantrum about to break forth, attempt to distract the child to head off a tantrum. It may help to touch or hold them.

Avoid situations likely to trigger a tantrum. Steer clear of "Temptation Island" at the checkout. One good technique is to buddy up with a friend or your spouse when shopping and have one adult take the children out to the front of the store, bypassing the displays, while the other one checks out. Otherwise, it's darn near impossible to get away from leading a child right past the goodies put there specifically for the purpose of tempting children.

How to deal with temper tantrums

At home or in public, the best response to a temper tantrum is - ignore it. If you are out in public, don't hesitate to leave the situation if the tantrum escalates or your child in danger of hurting him- or herself. At home, discuss with your child (once calm) what type of behavior you would have preferred. Above all, YOU must stay calm. Responding to a temper tantrum with anger or shouting will only likely escalate the child's behavior.

Children like routines. What may be boring to you is reassuring them. They live in a world where everyone is larger and their communication skills are limited. They find comfort and safety in consistency.

Around the time of the "terrible 2s," toddlers are also typically going through an "I'll-do-it-myself" phase and they may react negatively when things happen and decisions are made without their involvement - especially if it disturbs their routine.

Some children are more sensitive to change than others but you shouldn't try and protect your toddler from change, as it's unavoidable. Do try to help him or her deal with change in ways that are age-appropriate.

• Discuss with the child in advance any changes you are planning on making that will affect the child and the child's routine. For example, if you are planning on painting, talk about it in advance. If you are painting the child's bedroom, consider giving the child some input on color and decorations. Talk about the pending change and remind the child, giving them time frames they can understand. "We're having lunch early today because we're going to pick Grandma up at the airport when you finish eating." "When you wake up in the morning, the painters will be here and you can watch them."
• Let the child participate when appropriate. Children love to help. Even adults accept change better when they feel they have been involved in the change process.

Take into consideration what is appropriate for a child of this age and try and give the child choices instead of asking open-ended questions. Instead of asking "what color would you like to paint your room?" - give him or her a choice between two or three colors that you would find acceptable. It allows the child to be involved. You want to avoid asking questions or giving options in a way that may result in an answer you don't want. For example, what happens if you say "Do you want to pick up Grandma at the airport today?" - and the child says "NO?" Obviously, you have to pick up Grandma and unless you are able to leave the child with someone while you do that, he or she will feel that what they want doesn't matter, even though you asked them. It puts the adult in a dilemma and marginalizes the child. Try to remember to present the child with choices instead:

• Do you want green or blue?
• Do you want to sit in the front or the back?
• Which pair of shoes do you like - this one or this one?
• Which shirt would you like to wear - the yellow or the green?

Your child should outgrow this phase. Extreme, persistent resistance to change can be an early indicator of autism spectrum disorder. Other signs and symptoms may include delayed speech, attachment to one particular toy or object, unresponsiveness to others and poor eye contact. Be patient, make sure you are being consistent and presenting appropriate options when changes loom. If problems persist, you may want to discuss it with the pediatrician at your child's next routine checkup.